Weakness And Doubt

Mom, I just got your letter and it was amazing! It seriously came at the perfect time. Sometimes life beats us down or sometimes we beat ourselves down; either way that came in the moment that I needed a little pick me up. Life is good right now. In fact we have amazing investigators right now. Somehow I still feel like I'm not working hard enough though. I feel like I worked a lot harder in Enid and saw less success while here it is simply given to us. For some reason I felt better working harder even if it was for less. I want these last months to be the best ones.

So I shared some thoughts with my friend Haley that I wanted to sent to you. It's not super focused, but I like it...
If we were born complete we would never feel a need for God, so instead we are born with weaknesses that will teach us to depend on Him. Why?.. Why would God want us to depend on Him? Simple... We were not like our Father in Heaven and for us to become like Him, we would need the help of the only One who knew how to get us there. Heavenly Father sees your heart - desires, passions, frustrations, etc. - but more importantly he sees the end goal. He sees your potential and also sees the path to get there. Thus the words of Elder Holland, "God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go". 

Then comes the weakness and the doubt. Why did I do that? Why am I not better? Why can't I be more like them? Why does this happen to me? In our time focused on "me" we miss the awe of what Heavenly Father has done for us. The fear of the journey blocks the beauty of the end goal and the remedy of Jesus Christ. But overtime our experience teaches our perspective to keep pushing forwards. One by one the challenges come and with the help of God we beat them. We learn something new and we feeling the exciting reminder that this truly works. Our Savior's atonement is real. Then we see the next challenge and the process repeats itself. The problem comes when we get so wrapped up in the immediate challenges of life that we forget how far our Savior has already taken us and that His help will never end. "We learn on the one hand that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection. (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)"

I loved your thoughts on the "are you striving" questions. We are simply asked to give our best. Have a good week mom!